FROZEN CLOUDS

I HAD THE CRAZIEST DREAM. I DREAMED THAT THERE WAS A HUGE STORM COMING, I LOOKED OUT MY MOTHERS LIVING ROOM WINDOW AT THE CLOUDS. THE CLOUDS SEEMED A LITTLE STRANGE TO ME. NOT LIKE STORM CLOUDS,BUT FROZEN. THEY SEEMED LIKE I CAN REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM.

MY MOTHER WAS STANDING IN THE BATHROOM I THINK GETTING READY FOR WORK, I CALLED OUT TO HER AND SAID "MA, WHTS WRONG WITH THE CLOUDS?"

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID BUT I REMEMBER THAT BIG PILLARS OF ICE BEGAIN TO CHIP OFF THE CLOUDS LIKE ICE FALLING OF A TREE AFTER A SNOW STORM. MY MOTHER HAD A BIG WINDOW HINA LIKE THE PICTURE ABOVE, THE PIECES OF FALLING CLOUDS BEGAIN TO HIT THE SKYIGHT WINDOW SO HARD, THE WINDOW BEGAIN TO CRACK.

I STARTED TO SCREAM SO LOUD MY MOTHER CAME RUNNING TO MY AIDE. YOU COULD SEE THE FEAR IN HER FACE. I GRABBED MY THREE BOYS, MY MOTHER GRABBED MY SISTER AND WE BEGAIN TO HUDDLE UNDER THE TABLE. WE COULD HERE PEOPLE SCREAMING OUT SIDE, CAR ALEARMS SOUNDING BECAUSE OF THE IMPACT OF THE PILLARS OF CLOUDS, AND PEOPLE PRAYING.

MY KIDS FATHER, MY BROTHER AND MY TWO UNCLES CAME RUSHING INTO THE APARTMENT WITH ALL MY OTHER CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS. FOR SOME REASON I KNEW THAT THIS WAS THE END OF THE WORLD, IN FACT ALL OF US KNEW MY GREAT GRAND MOTHER BEGAIN TO PRAY. I CAN REMEMBER SAYING OUT LOUD " GOD, THIS IS YOUR WORK ,TAKE MY BABIES UNDER YOUR WING BECAUSE I KNOW THEY WILL BE ANGELS AND THEY WILL MAKE IT TO HAVEN."

I THEN LOOKED UP AT THE WINDOW AND NOTICE THAT NOT ONLY WAS THE CLOUDS GONE BUT THSKY WAS SLOWLY TURNING BLACK. I KISSED MY KIDS AND TOLD THEM I LOVED THEM AND THEN I WOKE UP.

JUNE 28 2008

I HAVE THE MOST SCARY DREAMS ALMOST EVERY TIME I GO TO SLEEP. IT GETS TO THE POINT WHERE I AM TOO SCARED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT I WOULD STAY UP UNTIL DAY BREAK AND THEN I WOULD BE CALM TO DO SO.

THIS HAS TOOK A TOLE ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND THE FATHER OF MY THREE LITTLE BOYS. HE WORKS AT NIGHT. AND WHEN HE WOULD COME HOME I WOULD BE DEAD TO THE WORLD. HE WOULD THEN HAVE TO WATCH THE BOYS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING AND HE WOULD SO TIRED. HE HAS LEFT ME BECAUSE OF THIS. I TRIED TO TELL HIM WHY I WOULD STAY UP ALL NIGHT BUT, HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. NOW I AM A SINGLE MOTHER WITH THREE KIDS DEPRESSED.

I REMEMBER WHEN MY MOTHER'S FRIEND DIED FROM AIDS, I KEPT HAVING DREAMS THAT MY MOTHERS FRIEND AND HER SON WHERE MOVING . I HAD THIS DREAM THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. A FEW WEEKS BACK MY MOTHER AND HER FRIEND STOPPED TALKING. I TOLD MY MOTHER EVERY TIME I HAD THESE DREAMS TO CHECK ON HER FRIEND BUT SHE WOULD ALWAYS SAY OK AND PUT IT TO THE SIDE. THE FIRST TWO DREAMS I HAD WAS BOUT HER AND HER SON MOVING. THEY WHERE BACKING THIER BELONGINGS INTO A MOVING VAN. IN THE LAST DREAM I WAS TALKING TO HER SON; I ASKED HIM WHERE THEY WAS MOVING TO? HE TOLD ME THAT HE WASN'T MOVING WITH HIS MOTHER AND THEN HE AND HIS MOTHER GOT INTO TWO SEPERATE CARS AND PULLED OFF. AS I CAN RECALL IN ALL THREE DREAMS, IT WAS A SUNNY SUMMER DAY. AFTER THE LAST DREAM BEGGED MY MOTHER TO CHECK ON HER FRIEND. WHEN SHE FINALLY DID WE FOUND OUT THAT HER FRIEND DIED. AFTER THAT DREAM I HAD A FEW MORE DREAM ABOUT MY MOTHERS FRIEND IN THESE DREAMS SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL AND SHE WAS GLOWING AS IF HER FACE WAS SUN KISSED.

THESE DREAMS ARE AFFECTING MY LIFE AND AFTER HAVING THE LAST DREAM I DECIDED TO BLOG ABOUT IT. I HOPE THAT ANYONE WHO CAN RELATE WOULD LEAVE A COMMENT.