JUNE 28 2008

I HAVE THE MOST SCARY DREAMS ALMOST EVERY TIME I GO TO SLEEP. IT GETS TO THE POINT WHERE I AM TOO SCARED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT I WOULD STAY UP UNTIL DAY BREAK AND THEN I WOULD BE CALM TO DO SO.

THIS HAS TOOK A TOLE ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND THE FATHER OF MY THREE LITTLE BOYS. HE WORKS AT NIGHT. AND WHEN HE WOULD COME HOME I WOULD BE DEAD TO THE WORLD. HE WOULD THEN HAVE TO WATCH THE BOYS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING AND HE WOULD SO TIRED. HE HAS LEFT ME BECAUSE OF THIS. I TRIED TO TELL HIM WHY I WOULD STAY UP ALL NIGHT BUT, HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. NOW I AM A SINGLE MOTHER WITH THREE KIDS DEPRESSED.

I REMEMBER WHEN MY MOTHER'S FRIEND DIED FROM AIDS, I KEPT HAVING DREAMS THAT MY MOTHERS FRIEND AND HER SON WHERE MOVING . I HAD THIS DREAM THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. A FEW WEEKS BACK MY MOTHER AND HER FRIEND STOPPED TALKING. I TOLD MY MOTHER EVERY TIME I HAD THESE DREAMS TO CHECK ON HER FRIEND BUT SHE WOULD ALWAYS SAY OK AND PUT IT TO THE SIDE. THE FIRST TWO DREAMS I HAD WAS BOUT HER AND HER SON MOVING. THEY WHERE BACKING THIER BELONGINGS INTO A MOVING VAN. IN THE LAST DREAM I WAS TALKING TO HER SON; I ASKED HIM WHERE THEY WAS MOVING TO? HE TOLD ME THAT HE WASN'T MOVING WITH HIS MOTHER AND THEN HE AND HIS MOTHER GOT INTO TWO SEPERATE CARS AND PULLED OFF. AS I CAN RECALL IN ALL THREE DREAMS, IT WAS A SUNNY SUMMER DAY. AFTER THE LAST DREAM BEGGED MY MOTHER TO CHECK ON HER FRIEND. WHEN SHE FINALLY DID WE FOUND OUT THAT HER FRIEND DIED. AFTER THAT DREAM I HAD A FEW MORE DREAM ABOUT MY MOTHERS FRIEND IN THESE DREAMS SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL AND SHE WAS GLOWING AS IF HER FACE WAS SUN KISSED.

THESE DREAMS ARE AFFECTING MY LIFE AND AFTER HAVING THE LAST DREAM I DECIDED TO BLOG ABOUT IT. I HOPE THAT ANYONE WHO CAN RELATE WOULD LEAVE A COMMENT.